2018考研英语双语阅读：长期独处让人们害怕感情

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　　长期独处让人们害怕感情

　　Wendy Li broke up with her boyfriend in April. They were happy together, but the man never expressed a desire to deepen their relationship or consider marriage.

　　四月份的时候，小李和男朋友分了手。他们在一起很快乐，但是那个男人从来没有表达过想加深关系、或者结婚的愿望。

　　He would call her and chat with her on WeChat every day, and initially, it seemed quite sweet. However, Li wanted to move forward with their relationship, and he seemed perfectly content with maintaining the status quo.

　　最开始的时候，他每天都会给小李打电话、在微信上聊天，一切看起来都很甜蜜。但是小李想把两人的关系更进一步，但是他似乎却完全满足于现状。

　　"He seems afraid of being in a stable relationship although he is already 29, which in China is generally accepted as the age at which one should be seeking marriage," Li said. "When we broke up, he even said that being single is better than being in a relationship, let alone marriage."

　　小李说道：“尽管他已经29岁了，但是却似乎很惧怕一段稳定的关系，而在中国这个年龄一般都应该谈婚论嫁了。我们分手之后，他甚至说单身比谈恋爱还要好，更别说结婚了。”

　　Li is not the only Chinese woman to find herself in such a situation, and according to current trends, she might not be the last. Sun Hao, a Beijing-based psychologist who specializes in relationship counseling said she has received several clients like Li’s ex-boyfriend.

　　小李并不是中国唯一一个深陷如此困境的女人，而根据目前的社会趋势来说，她可能也不会是最后一个。北京心理学家孙浩(音)专门从事恋爱关系咨询，据她表示已经接待了好几位跟小李男友一样的病人。

　　Men who refuse to settle down or commit are not new in the West. But in China, the eternal or "toxic" bachelor is a new trend, especially among young people living in big cities like Beijing.

　　在西方，男人拒绝确定关系、拒绝做出承诺并不是一件新鲜事。但是在中国，“有毒单身汉”还是一个新现象，尤其是对居住在北京等大城市的年轻人来说。

　　"It may be because of the increasingly fast pace of city life," said Sun. "A large number of young people in their 30s have been studying and working far from home since they were teenagers, so they have gotten used to being alone."

　　孙浩说道：“有可能是因为城市生活节奏越来越快。许多30多岁的年轻人自从少年时期就在离家很远的地方工作学习，因此他们已经习惯了独处。”

　　Yuan Fei (pseudonym), a 30-year-old single man working in a state-owned real estate company shared Sun’s opinion and said he once saw himself as the type of man who would die alone.

　　袁飞(音)是一名30多岁的单身男士，在国有房地产公司工作，他很同意孙浩的观点，还说自己曾经以为会孤独一生。

　　"I never thought about getting married because it makes me panicky and nervous," he said. "I have been all alone for over 10 years, and that was the hardest time for me. I thought that if I didn’t have company then, I would not need any in the future."

　　他说道：“我从没想过结婚的事情，因为这会让我感觉很恐慌。我已经独自生活10多年了，那是我最艰难的一段日子。我曾经认为如果我当时没有女朋友的话，那我以后也不需要。”

　　Sun said this kind of thinking occurs in both men and women and that it’s largely as a result of long-term isolation. They have gotten used to the lifestyle and think that being bound to one person is annoying and energy-consuming, Sun further explained.

　　孙浩表示，由于长期独处生活，男人和女人都有这种想法。他们习惯了这种生活方式，认为和某个人一起生活会让人很恼火、很伤神。

　　However, for Yuan, the phenomenon could be due to peer pressure or other reasons such as turning 30, the perceived threshold for the end of youth in China.

　　然而对袁飞来说，这种现象也可能会因为同龄人压力、或者类似步入30岁(中国人普遍认为30岁之后就不在年轻)等其他原因而结束。

　　"I am preparing to devote myself to a real relationship," he said. "I never had an official girlfriend before because I never thought about turning old with only one girl. I am still panicked, but I know I have to do it, or it will become more difficult later, when I am 35 or 40."

　　他说道：“我现在打算谈一场真正的恋爱。我从未有过正式的女朋友，因为我以前从未想过一辈子就邂逅一个女孩。我仍然很恐慌，但是我知道必须这样做，否则等我35或者40岁之后，只会更加困难。”

　　The concept of being "toxic" in China depends on different circumstances, Sun said.

　　孙浩表示，在中国“有毒”这一概念取决于不同的情况。

　　"A ’toxic’ partner may be ’detoxed’ when he or she meets someone they want to be with long term. Also, a relationship is always two people’s responsibility, and one can never do buck-passing when problems arise."

　　“当遇到自己想要长期相处的人的时候，‘有毒’的人也能变成‘无毒’。此外，一段感情永远是两个人的责任，出现问题时决不能推卸责任。”

　　Li agreed with Sun. "I think the process of ’detoxing’ is quite long for some ’toxic’ partners. I failed to change my ex-boyfriend. He escaped from the relationship by breaking up with me," she said.

　　小李很赞同孙浩的观点。她说道：“我认为对‘有毒’的人来说，‘排毒’是一个很漫长的过程。我没能改变我的前男友，他用分手的方式逃离了这段感情。”

　　"It is better to let them remain single until they are not ’toxic’ anymore."

　　“最好是让他们一直单身，直到他们不再‘有毒’。”

　　来源:环球时报

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