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　　Age is just a number

　　关于爱情，年龄真的那么重要吗?

　　A few days ago, I was talking to a girlfriend and remarked that the wife of the new French president, Emmanuel Macron, is more than two decades his senior. The new first lady of France, Brigitte Macron is 64, and her husband the president is 39. My friend immediately responded that she had heard, and her eyes lit up with mischief as if to say, "See, as long as you are not dating someone two decades younger, like her, you are fine."

　　几天前，我和一个闺蜜聊天，谈到了新上任的法国总统的马克龙那比他大20多岁的妻子。这位新任法国第一夫人，布丽奇特.马克龙现年64岁，而总统本人才39岁。我的朋友马上回应说她听说了，她的眼睛调皮的眨着好像在说，“看，只要你不和比你小20岁的人约会，就像她，你会过得很好。”

　　The backstory to our conversation is that I have been recently lamenting that I might be a cougar, a middle-aged woman who dates younger men. While I am nowhere near middle age and have only dated men as much as four years my junior, as far as I know, the fact that I find myself with younger men bothers me.

　　我们聊天的背景是，我最近常常叹息自己可能是一个熟女——约会年轻男子的中年女人。尽管我还未到中年，但是只和比我小4岁的男人约会，据我所知，应该是我和比我年纪小的男子约会这事困扰着我。

　　I remember once agonizing over whether I should "take a chance" on a young man after he asked to court me and I asked him his age. I was livid months later when he confessed that he lied about his age because he knew I would refuse him otherwise.

　　我记得曾经有次，在一个年轻男子向我示好后，我为是否应当“抓住这次机会”而苦恼——我问了他的年龄。几个月后当他向我坦诚他对年龄撒谎了——因为他知道说实话我会拒绝他，我真的很生气。

　　Ideally, I would like to date an active man that is my age or just a few years older so that we are in the same place in life and can do things together. I once dated a guy that was six years my senior, and all he wanted to do was hang out at home. When I complained, he said he had already done all the partying and dinner and movie dates already.

　　理想上来说，我想和一个与我年纪相仿、或者大几岁的积极向上的男人谈朋友，这样我们就能在生活中保持一样的节拍，可以一起做很多事情。我曾经和一个比我大6岁的男人交往，他整天宅在家里，我抱怨起来，他就说，聚会、吃饭、看电影等约会相关的事他早都经历过了，没兴趣了。

　　After that, I dated someone younger than me, and I got my wish: dinners, movies, the beach at sunset.

　　自那以后，我就找比我年轻的男人约会，这样才能满足我的愿望：吃饭、看电影、阳光沙滩。

　　Brigitte Macron’s age has brought sexism and ageism to the fore; even some French criticize her for being older than her husband. Her supporters say if the shoe were on the other foot, no one would care, and they are right.

　　布丽奇特.马克龙的年龄引起了性别歧视和年龄歧视，甚至一些法国人都批评她比她的丈夫大太多。而她的支持者们则表示，鞋子穿在别人脚上，其他人不知道这个感觉，他们自己舒服就好。

　　Women are easy targets in patriarchal societies. In my home country, a woman who dates a much younger man is called a "cradle robber" while a man who dates a younger woman is celebrated, and I have always been afraid of being labeled with such an ugly term.

　　在男权社会中，女性更容易被攻击。在我的祖国，女子如果和比自己年轻很多的男子交往，就会被称为“老牛吃嫩草”，相反一个男子约会一个比自己年龄小很多的女子，众人就会欢呼。我总是很害怕自己会被贴上这样一个难看的标签。

　　But as one writer puts it, "Whenever women are honest about themselves they give other women a gift." So, perhaps it is time for me to stand in my truth and admit to myself that I just might like younger, more active men. If that makes me a cougar, so be it.

　　过有位作家是这样说的，“无论何时，女子诚实做自己，便是给其他女子的礼物”，所以，也许该是我坚持自己的时候了，承认我就是喜欢年轻、积极的男子。如果这让我成了熟女，无所谓。