2015考研英语看图作文范例点评：水污染

新东方在线编辑整合了一系列考研英语作文，并附有批注和全文的点评，希望大家能够通过不同的话题，针对范例中的错误进行自我修正，从而提高写作水平。

2015考研英语看图作文范例点评：水污染

　　写作原文

　　As is vividly depicted in the picture, two drain pipes are draining much sewage into the river while some chimneys emit poison gas into the sky.(首段内容较为简略，可适当添加)Why do(改为does) our environment get more and more bad(表达有误，“越来越糟”应表示为worse and worse)? The main reason is(后面若要跟句子，就应该用从句来表述，加that) there are a lot of factories that(去掉) emit so much sewage and poison gas that aren't purified into our nature directly. Besides, we don't have a few good habits, so you can see littering, spitting and smoking frequently. There are so many people who are using plastic bag.Of course, we need plenty of factories because they will promote the development of our economy. But does it mean that our environment has to be contaminated? Our economy must be development(此处应选择动词，改为developed), but it shouldn't be at the expense of the pollution of our environment. We shouldn't be so selfish that we disregard the next generation. (一句话中出现两个we，不妥，建议作者将此句话改为：We shouldn’t be selfish to disregard to the next generation )We must protect our environment! On the one hand, it isn't until we dispose of sewage and poison gas that we can emit . On the other hand, we must encourage people to give up the bad habit(改为habits).Let's work together to have a beautiful country!

　　总体点评

　　文章结构清晰，内容完整。看着你的作文一天天有所提升，我们为你感到高兴，这些都是你努力的结果。但是，文章中的一些小问题还是值得注意，比如一句话中最好不要出现两个相同的单词，遇到这种情况时，可以换一种思路，想想这个句子能不能用其他结构表达，或者该词能不能用它的近义词代替等。之前强调的作者应该继续坚持。

　　参考分数(满分20分)：13

考研英语写作水平的提升是需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。希望广大考生切记。2015年，加油吧，冲击考研英语高分！

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